I have been the director of my team of account executives for the past two years. All of them are receptive to feedback except for my most senior person, who has been with the firm for 10 years. Every time I bring something to her attention or point out a way she can improve, she becomes very defensive and begins complaining how overworked she is and how loyal she has been to the firm in the past.
On several occasions, she has even begun to cry and ends up leaving the room before we can resolve anything. I want to be understanding of her perspective but her workload is not higher than anyone else’s. I’m not sure how to approach her but I need to resolve this since it is having such a negative impact on our work relationship and it is beginning to affect the others on the team.
Filed under: Sales Management | Tagged: managing senior employees, sensitive people, sensitive sales account executive
What you say and when you say it is important. Its important to describe your concerns with potential solutions. Constructive criticism makes people defensive and if you are seeking ways to improve or resolve internal conflict, consider the following:
1. Provide potential solutions rather than criticize the problem
2. Don’t air your concerns immediately. Feel free to write it down, but don’t submit yet. Its amazing how stepping away from the problem allows everyone to disconnect emotionally from the issue and really listen what you have to say with an open ear when you respond later.
3. Discuss your concerns as potential “SOLUTIONS” rather than itemizing concerns.
4. Timing. Everyone is working on their day to day tasks to get something delivered on time. When conflict occurs, it’s not effective for recipient parties to air it out immediately. Its counterproductive, increases frustration, and only makes the other party more upset. An effective way for conflict management, is to let them know there are a couple of ideas you have to further discuss their concern and propose a time to review it. Important to let them know that what they are presenting are very valid points and that you really want to learn more and see how we can come to a solution.
THE ART OF FEEDBACK
Here are good pointers I found from a book called Alpha Male Syndrome:
1. As the person if he is willing to hear your feedback
2. State the bare facts. Explain what happened as you see it, describing the specific behavior and results as nonjudgmental as possible.
3. Describe your reaction, using “I” statements. Focus on your experience, separating your interpretations from the observed facts.
4. Own your contribution. Look at how you might have contribtuted to the problem and declare your willingness to take responsibility.
5. Listen consciously as the other person reacts. Don’t try to convince him that your point of view is correct. The object is to learn together, not to win an argument. If he becomes defensive, make sure you stay curious and open, and don’t respond by becoming defensive yourself.
6. Make a request. If you don’t get clear agreement, continue to work the issue until you reach agreement.
7. Get a clear response to your request. If you don’t get clear agreement, continue to work the issue until you reach agreement.
8. Agree on changes. Translate your input and insights into action